In my observation of people that are always negative is that they are generally unhappy, have low self-esteem, and jealous of the person that they are criticizing. I decided to write this blog when I overheard a parent criticize a coach to another parent. That parent claimed that “he only takes time with the kids he likes and he could do a lot more then what he is doing at practice”. I thought that comment should be investigated so I took a deeper look into the situation. My observation was that this coach wasn’t taking time with all the girls but it was no fault of his own. This coach has 12 players and only one assistant coach. It wasn’t possible for him to take a lot of individual time with each player. He ran the drills as a team because he didn’t have the personnel to have multiple drill stations. I thought the coach did a good job. The most interesting part of my observation came at the end of practice. The coach’s hands were full with nets and a bucket balls. He had more supplies to carry out but not one parent stayed to help the coach put the supplies away. One of the first parents to leave was the one doing the criticizing. It’s obvious that the coach needs help but instead of trying to make the situation better by helping or at least asking to help, this Debbie Downer would rather just complain about the situation.
There are several reasons why people criticize others. It could be that they are sincere and want to help. This is considered constructive criticism. This type of criticism is good. You should absorb it and improve from it. On the other hand, you have people that want you to fail; they don’t want people to think that you’re doing something better then what they could do. The smart people that are “haters” feel the latter. Many smart “haters” need ongoing approval that they are smart. When they criticize someone, it’s a quick way for them to get instant gratification. For example, have you ever presented an idea at work to only have someone tear it apart with a lot of “what ifs” and hypothetical scenario’s that have little to no chance of happening? The person that was tearing the idea apart was getting his instant gratification by showing the audience his intelligence or lack thereof.
Don’t let these people hold you back. If you have an idea or want to pursue a venture, understand that you will always encounter people that are criticizing your actions. Don’t try to persuade them and don’t let them discourage you. I always say, it’s easy to judge me when you’re in recliner, eating chips, wondering who the next American Idol is while I am out busting my butt to achieve something.